Houseshare - Tales

During EastEnders, four of my five housemates occupy the lounge. It's the most I've ever seen together at one time; I had actually convinced myself some of them had never met each other. I discover just how small our lounge is when I realise that with five inside one of us must stand at all times.

Mardy smiles; I honestly didn't think her face had the muscles necessary for it. It is lucky I am sitting down, else I might fall down.

I discover that the Hermit in the attic is actually 36 years old. No one believes him, because he looks no older than I. He says he thinks he is the oldest person on a graduate scheme ever.

The rest of the house looks unfinished. The owners are sprucing it up -- laying carpets, painting woodwork and walls, fixing things at an unprecedented rate -- readying it, we think, for a sale. My bedroom carpet is spotted and smudged with dropped plaster.