Hand puppet

He passed a dead rabbit on the roadside as he walked to work. It seemed so lonely and lost there on the tarmac -- its insides rotten and swollen and exposed -- that he took it to work with him. He made it into a hand puppet to entertain his neighbours.

His colleagues were not impressed. They took him to one side and explained, in careful tones, that the workplace was no place for amateur theatre. Some suggested that he might be better off practicing his routine in his flat, working in private until it was perfected. Some moved as far they could from him, and tried not to meet the rabbit's glassy dead stare.

The boss was so unimpressed with his art he had security called to escort the man from the building. Later that afternoon, they tidied his desk into cardboard boxes and wiped the blood off his possessions as best they could. They put the boxes to one side, sealed and marked with the man's name. They would sit there in case he came back.

The rabbit they buried in the gardens, beneath a paving slab to stop the foxes getting at it.

Feeling unresolved

Magnolia

I watched this film with my housemates last night. I was expecting good things, because I had heard good things about it. In the end, whilst I had been entertained I was also feeling a little disappointed.

The film follows several different plot-lines at once, as the lives of the half-dozen or so main characters are intertwined and interconnected. It's well done, one has to admit (some of the interconnections are so subtle you have a job to catch them all), but the importance of coincidence is so highly stressed at the film's opening you expect a bigger and more impressive climax. The film has a couple of surreal moments, which raise a smile and help to aleviate the seriousness of the characters' situations. Strong performances are given by most of the cast (in particular Tom Cruise, whom I continue to have a lot of respect for as an actor) and the dialogue is generally believable and thoughtful.

It suffers from being slightly overlong, and from several of the storylines not being resolved to any satisfaction. They just stop, and you wonder what the three-hours of build-up was all in aid of. The only resolution I liked was that of the shy cop, and only because his part in the denouement wrapped up his story quite nicely and made the film end on a good note.

Feeling relaxed

--Someone's going to say 'Down in front!' in a minute.
--Yeah, 'I'm trying to watch the film'.
--It's not a film, it's real!

Notes from my weekend west:

--28 08 2004
Went into Kings last night with Tris. Were supposed to be going to see a film, but Wes and Wesleybuffer joined us for a drink, so we stayed out. Kings was quieter than the usual night, and it was quite a relaxed night.

--28 08 2004
Spent the morning walking round the grounds. Took a lot of pictures with my new camera, because I don't have any pictures of the cottage and I want to show it off to my friends back in Swin.

--29 08 2004
Went over to the Dartmouth Regatta yesterday afternoon with Tris. Wandered around a bit and watched the aerial display by the Tornado. Tremendous display, although the noise was phenomenal. Even so, we eventually got bored of walking laps of Dartmouth's town centre. Went over to Hope for a bit, where Tris' mum quickly put him to work taking photographs for the local paper.
Returned there in the evening with Wes and Wesleybuffer, as it looked like Kings was going to be a washout. Watched a fireworks display that was impressive by small village standards, and stood around in the Hopeless Wanker chatting. Watched a fire-juggler drop his flaming baton on a young boy's head, and announced to the rather crowded family room of the village pub that there was no Father Christmas.

--30 08 2004
Took my dad out for a couple of drinks last night. Had a few games of pool -- lost 3 games to 1 in fact. It was nice being able to have a drink with him without the constant distraction of the television in the background. Also nice watching him struggle to match me pint for pint. Had a good laugh.

Feeling historical

King Arthur

This film is the historical, and apparently factual, account of Arthur. It's the story without the magic, or the romance, or any of things that actually made the story of Arthur a legend, and as a consequence the story's rather . . . boring.

The film suffers from a rather plodding and uninspiring second act. Although it is in fact only just over two hours long, by the time Arthur and Guinevere get it on you feel like you've been sat there for about three hours. It could have really benefitted with being half an hour shorter.

The story of Arthur and his knights fighting for the freedom they were promised and denied is told well, but it's flavoured with just a little too much Hollywood cheese to make it truly enjoyable. Several of Arthur's knights -- Gawain, Galahad, Tristan -- are pretty much interchangable, and when each battle scene rolls around you'll be hard-pressed to tell them apart (in fact, during the final battle you won't even spot them).

Guinevere undergoes a startling change once the Romans withdraw, going from a dress-wearing object of Arthur's affections, feisty but civilised, to some tattooed and fetish-outfit clad warrior queen in about five seconds. Keira Knightley is gorgeous, but sadly the strip of electrical tape across her nipples that serves as her warrior queen garb only serves to make her look a little silly rather than sexy.

Later . . .

Feeling rejected

Well, finally got my nolove email from Bloodletters for Tymmy. Had to query them to get it, but at least I'm free to submit it somewhere else. Should probably look for somewhere else to send The Well whilst I'm at it.

Verdict: Issue filled before the submission arrived.

Later . . .

Feeling wooden

Mr Deeds

John McEnroe cannot act. His few lines are delivered like they're being read off Adam Sandler's forehead.

Worst cameo choice in the history of movies.

As for the film . . . Inoffensive, watchable and funny, but nothing that's going to stick in your memory for too long.

(As you probably guessed, house to myself this weekend, so spent it watching films and surfing the internet).

Feeling jealous

O

Okay, not at all familiar with Othello, so I'm not going to say anything about this in terms of the original play.

One thing I do want to say though: am I the only one who has a problem with Mekhi Phifer playing a high school student? The guy was 27 when he filmed this, and he looks like he's got ten years on everyone else in his year. Some people can get away with playing school kids well into their mid-twenties. Mekhi Phifer isn't one of them.

Not a bad film though. Hartnett's performance was good, Phifer's -- despite the occassional feeling that he should have been coaching the high school basketball team rather than playing in it -- was also good.

Later . . .

Feeling magical

Lots of reviews today :)

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J K Rowling

Okay, I'm getting ready to eat some serious humble pie here.

That was a truly enjoyable book. For a 'kids book' it was pretty cool.

That's as much as your going to get from me.

What impressed me the most about this book was that there was an amazing amount of foreshadowing in this book. There were more than I would expect from children's literature, and more than I have seen in many an 'adult book'. Nearly everything that happens ties in with the plot, and even seemingly inconsequential things (like wizard's cards) had some relevance further down the line.

The plot was surprisingly complex. Okay, so I guessed what was happening some-time before Harry and co, but then I do have a good thirteen years on them. Still, it was a pleasure to read.

The writing was simple, but with a stong voice. If I do have one problem with Rowling's writing it's that there was the occassional weak or awkward sentence, and a few patches of dialogue that seemed to me clumsy and stilted.

I think I'll feel a little less ashamed about reading the rest of them (although I might not be doing it in public ;)

Feeling short

Andomeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, Issue 13

Bully for You by Peter Andrew Smith is short and sweet. An interesting take on the 'space invaders meet primitive inhabitants of planet' theme, and an amusing climax.

ASIM seems to like stories that end in a clever little play on words or joke. Stories with a punchline that leave you groaning as often as they leave you smiling or nodding appreciatively. I noticed a couple of the former when I was reading issue 12, and it slightly upset the overall quality of the magazine for me (I seem to remember Sister Supernova by David Kay left me feeling particularly disappointed, but I remembered the guy's name, so maybe it's not an entirely bad thing).

Anyway, back to the point. Elf Esteem by Steven Cavanagh is thankfully one of the latter, an amusing piece about the cultural differences between orcs and elveses that ended well. The protagonist is a good character and you do find yourself wanting the Earl to get his comeupance, purely because he's so arrogant.

The premice of Sambilly's Impractical Noodle Machine by David Hoffman-Dachelet, isn't one that fills with excitement or even pique's my interest all that much; man invents machine to make noodles. That's pretty much it, and as I started reading this story I contemplated skipping ahead. I just couldn't see how you could make that into something I would want to read. I kept on, though, and am almost glad I did. Certainly, it didn't move me or amuse me, but the writers voice was engaging enough and I thought the dialogue and pace of the story were good.

Urban Transit by Marion Schweda bored me. It's as simple as that. I'm not a big fan of science-fiction, so in order to keep my attention you've got to have a strong story and it's got to have a clear purpose. I just didn't see the point of this one.

I enjoyed Kappas by Maxine McArthur, although the dark little twist right at the very end surprised me. I'm not saying that I didn't like it, it just wasn't what I was expecting given what the first person protagonist had told us before. In the end, a nice story that handled a subject I knew nothing about (namely the Kappas) in a way that didn't confuse me.

The Truth About Alternate Dimensions by Robert Marsh was probably my favourite story in this issue. It was light and humorous, and had a good pace that meant you didn't just get buried in joke after joke after joke. The dialogue had an air of Robert Rankin about it, and I thought the relationship between the two characters, and the way in which their conversations flowed, was very strong. Like Elf Esteem the ending is good, and rounds off the piece nicely. The Truth . . . is Marsh's first published piece, and I look forward to seeing more of his stuff.

WD40 versus the Three Laws of Robotics by Darren Goossens had something lacking. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I felt as though the whole thing was wrapped up rather too easily, that there was something missing that kept it from being a good story.

The Whole of the Law by Stephen Deadman was the final story in this issue. Perhaps because ASIM have revised their submission guidelines, this story was quite a long one, longer than I'm used to reading in magazines. I was really impressed with Deadman's work here; the character's are engaging, and have a group dynamic and sense of team that is so often lacking from spaceship crews. The plot is complex, and there's a lot happening here. The world-building is rich, and the ending is satisfying. If I have one criticism, it's that the size of the work and the plots might have slightly affected consistency from scene to scene. A couple of times I had to read back to check whether I'd missed anything, and it took me out of the story a little.

Later . . .

Feeling better

I'm not very good with words.

That seems like a strange thing to say, considering that I call myself a writer, but it's true.

I endeavour to make myself a better communicator, and reading through past entries I realise that 95% of what I publish here is crap. I should be more pleased with my output, but I'm not.

So, I'm starting this thing anew. With any luck it'll be a better read, and I'll feel better about people reading it.

Later . . .